Me and Petrarch

my love’s way beyond unrequited
I need a new word now
to describe the yearning of yearning for someone
I’ve never even found

me and Petrarch
sitting in a tree
he’s gonna be married
long before me

Estrellita’s is a world-class wit but her stuff is more than clever. It’s deep too. And it’s getting deeper. Dig Estrellita’s new stretchy collection of lyrics which starts with a Rolling Stones tribute and ends on “Petrarch’s Ark.”

 

Fumbling for Crumbs

luck gods help me
polish some thrones
baby needs a new pack of cigarettes
roll my bones

come 7 come 11
I’ll take whatever comes
baby’s been eating hand-me-down bread
so I guess I’m fumbling for crumbs

hey luck gods I won’t hold a grudge
if you don’t come through
I’ll just tell my baby
you had bigger things to do

throw me anything large enough
so I can see a president or 2
baby only needs a new pack of cigarettes
she’ll smoke the cheap kind too

roll my bones
on a ship of fools
taking my chances
cause I don’t know the rules

 

Word of Mouth

the singer messes up her song
her heart’s in it but the words are all wrong
I only have to leave and she’d be gone
but I’m not prepared to move until dawn

could I get a hallelujah
could I get an amen
could I get a witness
I’m going down again

I guess we’ve cleared the romance hurdle
let the games begin
all our promises have PTSD and the meds
aren’t sinking in

hard to remember
we were friends at the start
now I only know love by word of mouth
while some people know it by heart

I see a friend struggling
crying through a smile on her face
if there was ever such a thing as rainbows
she’d be the place

her mind and heart are shaken
her words a little wobbly with grief
not all her love has been taken
she still has the gift to receive

hard for her to remember
they must’ve been friends at the start
I only know love by word of mouth
but she’s trying to learn it by heart

 

Dis ‘n’ Dat—Ingenuous Blues

he said I was disingenuous
I asked him to use it in a sentence
he said I was disingenuous
again

he may think he saved me
he got in the last word
impressing me with an aspect of his vocabulary
I’d never heard

academic minstrels
wouldn’t last a minute on the streets
competing in tongues and footnotes
against no opposing team

no one’s in your library
no one’s in the stands
no one lasts a minute
who doesn’t get your sleight of the hand

I may be a paradigm shift
I may be a tool
but what’s the use of canny linguistics
to a certified fool

he called me disingenuous
left me hurt and incredulous
caught me red-handed without my dictionarious
so I’ll never have to know if he was serious

 

Warden It Be Loverly

you don’t know me from Adam
I don’t know you from Cain
better back off my brother before you make me
have to pull the bipolar card again

pain must be a blessing
to hurt this deep
last night even Jesus was having
nightmares in my sleep

you think I’m the apple
I think you’re the snake
all I know is this garden we live in
was never meant to have gates

somewhere’s my double
she’s a whole lot prettier than me
beauty may be only skin deep
but it’s all people see

I’ve got breasts I’ve got soft skin
only thing missing is an easy way in
mirrors don’t know the half of who I am
how stoned do I have to get never to’ve been in the body of a man

I’ll tell you one thing
if it’s heaven you seek
if you already don’t like people who don’t look like you
you’re really gonna hate the meek

you don’t know me from ishmael
I don’t know you from dick
the air’s so full of broken promises
you could hit them with a stick

pain must be a gift
generous to receive
thank you for reasoning’s no longer in the way
of my reason to believe

I’m a little rusty on magic
but I thought this time I’d really disappeared
pain must be some kind of genius
to’ve found me out here

you don’t know me from cohen
I don’t know you from sin
but if you think I won’t throw the bipolar card
you vastly underestimate me my friend

 

Floored

there’s an elevator in my past
that only goes to the seventh floor
the nut ward at St. Mary’s blessedly
I’ll never have to go there anymore

unlike thirteen
this floor existed
but for our own protection
it was unlisted

stares get you up there
stares meet you there
stares are what haunt you
but there are no stairs

you go up like a fever
express to seven
but St. Mary’s freak bin
is nothing like heaven

visitors have to put bags on their heads
and pretend to be insane
just to make sure you’re medicated enough
to act well-trained

there’s an elevator in my lobby
I’ve learned to ignore
the bell boy’s got his eye on me
but I’ll never have to go there anymore

 

Ward of the State of Loveliness

I was looking for comfort
my guard was down
thought I was unconscious
until you came around

I was looking for sugar
you were passing out salt
and I’d rock my soul in the bosom of anyone
who could help me think it wasn’t my fault

love and medicine mix me up
Seroquel’s my next of kin
haloperidol was my first love
but I’ve had a lot of xanax since then

I was looking for weed
instead you spiked my heart
and I would stand on the rock where anyone stood
who could distinguish the two apart

I was looking for numbness
enough to get through the night
killing my pain by the numbers
when the darkness burns too bright

I was looking for safety
somewhere between wrong and right
I’d rock my soul in the shelter of anyone
who could make me feel human tonight

 

Petrarch’s Ark

because your really don’t know me
and I don’t want to seem unsound
it’s easier for me to pretend you love me
when you’re not around

sure I wish I could talk to you
all night long on the phone
but you’d just think it was a wrong number
and I love you best when I’m alone

when you’re not here you love me
make me feel divine
you may not know me from Adam
but when you’re gone you’re mine

because you have a boyfriend
I don’t know who to be
unless it turns out by some miracle
he’s me

I don’t have to sit with you
I don’t have to hold your hand
I don’t have to kiss you forever
but when you’re away I can

when you’re not near you love me
fill me up inside
you may not know me from a gas tank
but when you’re gone you’re mine