I am trying to remember the lyrics of old songs
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx I’ve forgotten, mostly
I am trying to remember one-hit wonders, hymns,
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxand musicals like West Side Story.
Singing over and over what I can recall, I hum remnants on
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxnnnnnnnnnnnxxxxxxxxbuses and in the car.
I am so often alone these days with echoes of these old songs
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxnnnnnnnnnnnxxxxxxand my ghosted lovers.
I am so often alone that I can almost hear it, can almost feel
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxnnnnnxxxnxxxxxxthe half-touch of others,
can almost taste the licked clean spine of the melody I’ve lost.
I remember the records rubbed with static and the needle
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxnnnnnnnxxxxxnnnnxxxxxxgathering dust.
I remember the taste of a mouth so sudden and still cold from
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxnnnnnxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxnxxxxxwintry gusts.
It seemed incredible then — a favorite song, a love found.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxnxxxxxnnnnxxxnxxxxxxIt wasn’t, after all.
Days later, while vacuuming, the lyrics come without thinking.
Days later, I think I see my old lover in a café but don’t,
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxnnnxxxxxxxxxxnnxxxnxxxxxxhow pleasing
it was to think it was him, to finally sing that song.
This is the way of all amplitude: we need the brightness
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxnnxxxxxxxxxxxnnnxxxnxxxxxxto die some.
This is the way of love and music: it plays like a god and
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxnnxxxxxxxxxxnnnxxxnxxxxxxthen is done.
Do I feel better remembering, knowing for certain
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxnnnxxxxxxxxxxnnxxxnxxxxxxwhat’s gone?