 |
Trump calling into Newsmax to say “I’d never heard the words ‘mugshot’ — they didn’t teach me that at the Wharton School of Finance” is one of his greatest lines.
Hunter Harris may be the wittiest woman alive, though I wish she wouldn’t stay in her celebs-mainly lane. (Unlike, say, Anthony Lane, she has a knack for pure moral acuity as she lays down a punchline.) Harris could become an essential political commentator. As she demonstrates in this swatch from an August post….
There were only a few ways the Donald Trump mugshot could go: Would he go with a demure grin, the taunting smize of 2000s celebutantes? Or would he strike his familiar pose, his presidential headshot, squinting and threatening? Or would he try to pull off a grin?
The bad president–good tweeter surrendered to authorities at the Fulton County jail in Atlanta on Thursday, on charges that he illegally schemed to overthrow the 2020 election in Georgia. I couldn’t wait for the mugshot. I kept saying it aloud: “I can’t wait for the mugshot.” “When do you think the mugshot is gonna drop?” “I should set an alarm for the mugshot.” The mugshot propelled me through Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and even Thursday. I smiled through my silly little tasks. We have so much to look forward to. The mugshot is near!
The mugshot, it turns out, is not as funny as when Trump, beset with covid, tried to stifle a cough that one time. His face is in that familiar baby-ish (potentially derogatory to babies; if any are reading this I’m sorry!) scowl. His face looks a little slimmer than usual, but even my not doing math-ass can guffaw at him self-reporting his weight as 215 pounds. Now I don’t know much about algebra but I know a lot about lying: Armie Hammer was 6’5” and 220 in The Social Network!
But the photo (or, God, the tweetstorm) I would most like to see is Trump seeing the mug shots of his co-conspirators and seeing that he got washed. Trump’s mugshot lands somewhere near the bottom in the middle of his co-defendants. He didn’t even crack my top five!
Cathy Latham
 |
This is what Ben Kingsley was talking about in Shutter Island when he said it’s as if Emily Mortimer evaporated straight through the walls. The overexposure, the lipstick, the boo! look in this lady’s eyes. My compliments to the art director.
Harrison Floyd
 |
Harrison Floyd has cast himself as a righteous man. I swear to god he was studying Martin Schoeller’s Obama portrait in the bathroom mirror. The slightly raised chin in a sort of superhero pose, the squinted eyes, blinded by their own honesty, the blue button down and blazer. A genius concept, but an imperfect execution of the form.
Ray Smith
 |
So many things — a hundred small, almost imperceptible mistakes — have brought us this image. The dye job. The scowl. The polo. I do think this one relies too much on the dull, droll expression.
Robert Cheeley
 |
There are lot of elements in this image to contend with — a plaid shirt?? — but there is a certain Rankin/Bass productions-sized hole in my heart for a face that it so cartoonishly indignant. This is the one that really puts Trump’s scowl to shame.
Kenneth Cheseboro
 |
No, I’m sorry, I love it. This is what it means to emote. This is acting. This photo says “Have you taken it yet?” It’s perfect. It’s exactly what this election fraud scheme was in real time: organized crime by fundamentally disorganized people. This is really a gift — mostly to The Comeback actor Damian Young, but to the rest of us as well.