a trace of something in the road……….smack dab & lax
………………………a mask……….a bone……….a drinking cup
what the dead mean when the dead speak………. that hovering………. or teetering
………………………ermine & all the albinos……… farm boys & lab-hatched mice
that memory of my two Heidi braids as I rode up Main Street on my bike
……….that space between my face & the book on my lap in the den
my knees……..my fingers……………….the moon……..the moon……..the night
that space between me & the wall……..me & the street…….. me & the pool underwater
…………………..even my exuberance was white………………every sob & wallow
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even my ignorance was white………………my ignorance most especially
ignorance the color of darkness hiding…..me under a branch like a bent leaf
……..me under the swing in the yard behind the house with my thumb in my mouth
or me under the yard…..like Persephone……..as if death could be white
since they said us girls must float…………since we were white
……..I remember the slave houses……….. they were Bed & Breakfasts
free juice & coffee……king beds & linen sheets……..cubed pineapples from Mexico
……..fine slices of cantaloupe……….shadow after shadow
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this was in Virginia…… where I was born & raised…..in two old houses
with very little insulation…….. champagne…… in a glass…… on the patio
……..white bloom……………….on its branch…………..in a vase
houses made of bricks made & laid by slaves…………bricks like smoke under the eaves
haunting all the houses……….in the village………….. in school & out
……..us girls like moths…………………. like motherfucking ninnies
under the trees beside the houses……..in cotton frocks…….. white cedar & black walnut
it actually made no difference…. which tree it was…..in that brutal backcountry
………………….where we all twirled……to glisten…….& sleep
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I’m saying we floated like airborne litter……..like on-the-brink vagabonds
……..when we fluffed our quilts…….. & laid them down in the glassy yards
& emptied our bags……for Virginia Slims…….. & cherry lip gloss
our Virginia Woolf……& whichever Bronte……..our baby oil & Coppertone
……..to try & become that darker white…………..of oiled brass
I’m saying fuck you America……………….fuck you Cosmo at the A & P
fuck you Elizabeth Montgomery…………..& fuck me most especially
……..since oblivion is white…………………& money is money……& money is white
& we wanted to be pretty….our arms & legs & faces……so dark the deer would lick us–